The mirror

My childhood mirror, a constant companion

I held it far, I held it close, seeking truth, a little denial, maybe confirmation

The shiny reflection at a decision conclusively did arrive

Brown……A Fitzpatrick four … ha! optimism? actually five

Not much in terms of nostalgia for me

Childhood remains a ‘dark’ memory!

Taunts of ‘black’ in different languages still echo in my ears,

‘How will she get a ‘good’ groom?’, my parents’ worst fears

And then my self-esteem, the little left, went further down

Spots of white sprouted ominously on a backdrop of brown

The skin doctor gave it a name

It’s ‘vitiligo’ he did proclaim

It is treatable … it will go, slowly but surely

His calm voice reiterated reassuringly

I nodded, unsure, a little confused, a little sad

Why me? The irony was driving me mad

All through life, I detested melanin

The search for light skin, the unholy grail, an illness of society with no medicine?

And now of this hated dark pigment, there was too less?

Dying in spots, leaving me like a tattered board of chess

In self-pity, I dwelt, not sure for how long…….

But time, the great healer (the only?) made me strong

Dark or light, spots or not

I realized, we, just our skins are not!

For the people who shudder and frown

Seeing these islands of white on oceans of brown

My skin isn’t a reflection of what I am by far

It can however be a mirror of what they are!

Note: An article in Nature, aptly titled “Vitiligo’s impact is in the eye of the beholder,” by John Harris, delves into the interesting conflict between acceptance of vitiligo, to a point where one celebrates it and would feel that there is no need to treat it at all, and the other side of the coin where patients feel stigmatized and need to be given a chance to make an informed choice to treat vitiligo with the available options.¹ In a country like India this merges into the unfortunate, but very real, problem of defining beauty based on skin colour. It is ironic that in an environment obsessed with fair skin, vitiligo still carries its ‘fair’ share of stigma. For us dermatologists, the key would be balance and transference of that balance to the patients who can then make their own informed choices–as vitiligo, as dark, as any skin colour for that matter, is beautiful and yes, vitiligo can still be treated effectively for those who choose to do so.